Sunday, June 28, 2009

Movie Review - Transformers

I got deceived into watching this dreadful movie by the news that the box office sales had broken all records. I wish I had followed my instincts and stayed away.
This movie had no depth, no layers, no character arcs. The stakes were the destruction or not of the world. I didn't give a damn. I didn't give a damn if the hero lived or died. I didn't give a damn if the eye-candy heroine, who spent most of the movie running around trying to look scared, lived or died. I didn't care if the hero's freaky parents lived or died, and what they were doing being air-dropped into Egypt defies logic.
The machines were gigantic, and the humans were tiny with their tiny guns and tiny bullets yet they still won. I had to suspend belief so far it hurt.
The action scenes were ridiculous. It was impossible to know what was happening, and when machines fought machines, it was a junkyard tangle of monumental proportions. One was indistinguishable from the other. The relentlessness of the action scenes, and the confusion that reigned made me bored and sleepy while fire and brimstone reigned upon the Egyptian desert. Slow motion scenes of beautiful girl and heroic guy outrunning explosions were classics in their awfulness.
The only slight relief from the pain were a couple of comic situations and one or two good lines. But they could fill about three minutes in all. I considered leaving but I had paid my money and refused to conceded defeat. The best part might be in the last few minutes. It wasn't.

8 comments:

raine said...

Haven't seen it, not planning to.
Movies that look like they're 90% special effects just don't work for me.

Suzanne Perazzini said...

You are a wise lady, Raine. Stay well away. I usually only blog about movies I like but I felt an obligation to my fellow writers to put this warning up here.

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Suzanne, this movie is also at our theater and I had heard bad reviews so am not eager to see it. Thanks for the honest review. Jeff and I do love special effects but a movie definitely needs a story with great tension in it.

You should receive my book soon. :D

Finished my second project and am free for the summer. Plan on climbing into our pool and listening to the windy poplars whispering their stories to me as I float around. :D

How are you, girlfriend? Please let me know.

Hugs, Nancy

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Nancy, your plan to chill out during the summer sounds wonderful. Thanks for sending me your first book - I feel very privileged.

Suzanne

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Suzanne, you are welcome. :D

We have heavy rain today so I think it's a day for the elliptical trainer and listening to an audio tape.

Wild wave!

Nancy

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Hi Nancy,
I am recovering from the flu following my trip to Peru and will soon post about the trip, but still don't have enough energy. It's sunny but quite chilly today and I hope Summer is not too far off.

Suzanne

Footsteps said...

Hi Suzanne,

Looking forward to your Peru posts ( too bad about the flu!)...

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I'm over the flu now, Heather, but just being lazy where my blogging is concerned. I will soon, I promise.

Suzanne