Friday, February 12, 2010

Just for a laugh

I loved these church related bloopers I found here on Kristin Nelson's blog:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

14 comments:

Norah Deay Jansen said...

Some of those really were laugh out loud!

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Hi Norah, fancy seeing you in here. It takes a bit to make me laugh but a few of these managed it.

Suzanne

raine said...

(Snicker!).

Suzanne Perazzini said...

We all need a good laugh every now and then, Raine.

Suzanne

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

ROFL, Loooove these bloopers! The electric girdle is my fav.

Wild wave! Jeff has returned to work. WOOT!

Hugs, Nancy

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Men should definitely be working, Nancy. Keep them busy and out of trouble.

Suzanne

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Dropping by for a wild wave. Our church could have used these jokes; we have some tempers flaring there. That always amazes me!

Hugs, JJ

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Any group of people working together always has problems sooner or later. It's human nature, unfortunately.

Suzanne

Bernita said...

Reading these gave me unholy joy.

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I'm so please you felt joy. Still waiting for your news!

Suzanne

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Dropping by for a wild wave, Suzanne. We have colder weather and snow moving back in on the weekend but the last week has been totally AMAZING. Temps in the high 40's and low 50's. I hope this means you have a fast winter too! Our snow is gone, unheard of for March.

Hugs, JJ

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I'm so pleased for you that you had a great week, weatherwise. I think about you often wading about in the snow. Not good for too long.

Suzanne

Footsteps said...

Made me laugh! It's such an easy grammatical slide from "sincere" to "silly"!

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Someone was really dedicated to collect these all together, Heather..

Suzanne