I have just had a book published, another bought for publication. I have had three requests for more work from query letters (a full & two partials) and yet I feel uninspired. You would think I would be jubilant after writing and submitting for 6 years. So why do I feel like this? If this had all happened 6, even 5, even 4, perhaps even 3 years ago, I think I would have been over the moon. I guess the knock-backs do take their toll. I feel excited about very little these days. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism against the hurt but unfortunately it also dampens the joy. This has worried me for some time but then the other day my son got an excellence for an important school project he had worked really hard on and I was elated. I felt joy. So I can feel excited for others, just not for my own successes. That will have to do for the moment.
I have had a rough ride workwise recently - an office bitch in one job and unsupportive bosses in the next. Then it occurred to me today that I have to take those experiences in all their nuances good and bad and use them in a story. It is fully formed in my head - funny, sad, shocking and ultimately inspiring - a journey through adversity to a place of strength. Now I must actually write it. By the way, the photo represents my mind recently.